Leadership: Power of circle meetings and the benefits of being last to speak
Nelson Mandela learned to be a great leader from his father, who always sat in a circle and was the last to speak during meetings
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| Business people in a boardroom meeting @ Freepik | rawpixel.com |
Great leadership isn’t about speaking first and understanding later. It’s about understanding first and speaking later.
It was why author and inspirational speaker Simon Sinek highlighted that Nelson Mandela is a “special case study in leadership” because he is “universally regarded as a great leader.”
Mandela was the son of a tribal chief. He was asked one day, “How did you learn to be a great leader?” He responded to that question by saying that he would go with his father to tribal meetings, and he remembers two things when his father would meet with other elders:
- They would always sit in a circle, and…
- His father was always the last to speak.
Power of circle meetings
The Global Round Table Leadership team found that “in venues as diverse as the United Nations, higher education, business, and organizational leadership teams” also have their meetings in a circle, as it is “one of the most powerful forms of group process.”
The team added that “a group sitting together in a circle is an ancient and time-tested form of gathering practiced in cultures” worldwide.
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| The Power of Teams Who Meet in Circle @ Global Round Table Leadership |
You can even use these practices on a Zoom/Skype/Google Meet call, or any other remote virtual meeting, as if the group were sitting together in a circle.
The New Ways of Working team suggests that there’s only one rule: “one person speaks at a time.” The others should be on mute before their turn to speak.
Benefits of being the last to speak
Simon Sinek emphasizes that leaders “need to learn to be the last to speak,” adding, “I see it in boardrooms every day of the week; even people who consider themselves good leaders (who may actually be decent leaders) will walk into a room and say:
Here’s the problem and what I think, but I’m interested in your opinions. Let’s go around the room,” to which Simon says, “It’s too late,” as it defeats the purpose of getting opinions, because holding your opinions to yourself until everyone has spoken, according to Simon, does two things:
- It gives everybody else the feeling that they have been heard; it gives everyone else the ability to feel that they have contributed, and…
- You benefit from learning what everybody else thinks before you render your opinion.
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| Firefighters in group briefing © iStock | martin-dm |
“The skill is really to keep your opinions to yourself. If you agree with somebody, don’t nod yes. If you disagree with somebody, don’t nod no,” Simon says. “Simply sit there, take it all in, and the only thing you are allowed to do is ask questions so that you can understand what they mean and why they have the opinions that they have,” he added.
“You must understand from where they are speaking, [and] why they have the opinions they have, not just what they are saying. And at the end, you will get your turn. It sounds easy… [but] it’s not. Practice being the last to speak,” Simon advised, because “that’s what Nelson Mandela did.”
What being last to speak does not mean
To clarify, it’s not that you can only be a good leader if you are last to speak. It’s about the benefit gained from speaking last in decision-making.
You are not completely forbidden from speaking at the start of any meeting, in the sense that a leader is not even allowed to set the tone, moderate the discussion, or let everyone know what the meeting is about.
And of course, you should ask questions when you don’t understand what someone is saying during the meeting instead of making assumptions.
In that context, it’s not suggested that leaders must be entirely silent until the end. The idea is to understand what others are saying before speaking your thoughts to address a particular issue.
You can hear directly from Simon in the video excerpt below:
